It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
