If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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