Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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