Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
