Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize