Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
