Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize