He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
