O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
