btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
