I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
