Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
