i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
