garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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