This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
