mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
