i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
