RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
