He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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