Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize