so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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