my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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