he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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