you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
