just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
