please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
