Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize