Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize