yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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