Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
