An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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