just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
