he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
