As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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