Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
