Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
