isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
