In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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