So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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