You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
there was a trapeze. enough said
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
