Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize