Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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