TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
