i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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