whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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