it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The uberlube is also flammable
Randomize
