Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
