Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
How's work?
Spinning.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
