he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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