I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
