I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just found a bag of teeth...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
