I would go down on you faster than GM stock
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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