break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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