She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
