i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
