We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
