is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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