I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize