I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
