It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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