Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
