I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
