I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
