One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
