theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
